Excerpt? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Excerpts!

Like many Writers in this age music is inspiring. More. This brief “look-see” provided by this song. Also when I first heard it…I was literally astounded at the lyrics* for my story…is similar to a certain portion.

This is what I call…a verbal trailer.

“The rain is coming harder,” the giant says. “But, sure as I know her she will only become stronger in it.”

“Indeed, mountain. She is like no other. She leads us,” says the man in beggar’s clothing. “Sts, we await her signal, old friend,” he continues, peering over his shoulder.

“But of course, old friend,” a small voice answers.

A mile or so ahead of them, high atop a cliff the girl raises her hand, high into the air. First, a fist. Then, she extends her index and small finger, simultaneously. The wind blows through them as she gives a blank stare to the terrain before her. She’s calm, though her chest heaves in and out with great force. No words come out of her mouth. Just her hand, in the air. Her hood caresses her face and she closes her eyes tightly. Finally she speaks where only she can hear. “As I am breathing, so are you, Sarah.” She pumps her hand into the air twice and the silence is broken.

First, a tiny creature, scurries through the leaves on the ground. He goes in front of her, ahead of the rest. He is the sight; one with a gift. Precognition. He can’t explain how he does it and doesn’t need to. He jumps off the high cliff she’s standing on, towards the dark valley below.

Her hand remains in the air with her eyes shut. She is praying. Her grandmother taught her how.

The small creature is far ahead of her now just as the man, lithe in stature, but holding more power than any mere mortal being, joins the small creature. In his hand, a rather peculiar looking instrument, made of dark rowan wood. He sprints past the girl, after the creature, and says these words: “And so the time for pretense, the time for hiding in the shadows……is dead.”

He flips head first into the valley below, disappearing from sight.

Then the giant-the mountain- is heard. His every step as loud as the whipping thunder in the sky. He brandishes a special weapon, one never seen by any. “I am my brother’s keeper!” he shouts and smashes it into the rocks at his feet, causing him to catapult next to the girl, landing with an explosive boom. He stands 12 feet to her 5.

The dust has yet to settle and he stands next to her.

“Now… that you know what you are,” he begins.

“Say nothing,” she interrupts. “I am who I am. I am who Sarah made me to be. Beneath this shell is…is…”

“Say nothing,” the giant says, looking out towards the valley.

“Very well,” she says quietly.

“The Ozul was right, you know?”

“I know. It makes sense, D. I always stared into the sky… wondering.”

“You know she loved you.”

“Yes, …and that is why I’ve done all that I have. She’s with us, D. She sent those two……

…to us. We hold the future in our hands, Brother.”

He grunts. Then he looks down at the girl and nods. He puts his hand on the top of her head and closes his eyes.

“Let the blood speak, child. Let the blood speak.”

She says nothing, only nods in return. This is her way.

The giant grabs his weapon, looks intently at it and raises it so high the clouds seemingly part for it.

“Brothers,” he says, beating his weapon against his chest then letting out a bestial roar, and mocks the thunder, again. He then jumps feet first below and joins the two that go before him.

The rain begins to fall onto her. She lifts her head and embraces the hard drops with fervor as she moves her left her hand on the hilt of her blade. “This is …this is who I really am?”

She closes her eyes and the hood falls over her head, shadowing her face.

She breathes, in and out, opens her eyes, and as their amber glow of shines onto her skin, one word falls from her lips.


She puts her hand in front of her chest and makes a fist, choking the air within. As she lifts her head towards the sky, words she said when she first “became” what she is now come to mind:

In the dark is where I run.

In the dark is where I am strong.

I do not fear, that which I can not see…

For in the dark is where I am free.

She feels guilt about cracking a slight smile, but she does anyway.

“I am no longer alone, Gramma!” she yells.  “Yes! The time for pretense! The time for hiding in the shadows…

…is dead! With you. With me.” Her skin begins to glow as bright as the stars above.

“Yes.” she says again. “I am the shadow.”

The light envelops everything around her and as she begins to hover off the ground, she leaps off of the cliff, lighting the valley below.

“Let the blood sssspeak…” sounds an ethereal whisper in the wake.

*hmm.–This would make a cool book/movie trailer. I like the epic feel of your story and the poetic prose. I’m also intrigued by the heroine because she is a girl (and she seems a girly girl–not a total badass. Sooo sick of female main characters who might as well be boys) I like that she is leading all these powerful beings. The dialogue is nice, brief without seeming curt. It cuts right to the bone. Good job! I like it now that I understand what it is! Thanks for sharing.–JMK, from my Writers GroupThank you, J! 🙂

About Tymothy Longoria

Tymothy Longoria has been described as a writer with a flair for the dramatic (whether this is true still remains to be seen). He is a fan of all things fantastic, metal music, black t-shirts, and aligns himself with geeks, nerds, and all manner of monsters, and is an ardent, optimistic supporter of his fellow creatives. He has written several short stories for the online macabre zine Underneath The Juniper Tree and in 2012 was awarded Debut Author of the Year by Twisted Core Press for 'Envy', his contribution to the Seven Deadly Sins Anthology. He is currently editing his full-length dark fantasy retelling, Revenants: Book One of The Stories. Fairy tales? If only. Legends will be reborn. Tymothy calls Texas home, where he lives with his wife, two children, and a cat called ThunderCat aka Kitty PawKitty. He is represented by Bree Ogden of Red Sofa Literary. View all posts by Tymothy Longoria

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