See that dark house coming closer and closer? Yeah. That’s Halloween approaching and in the spirit of the holiday I share with you the following. Recently, well actually very recently, The Twitter unleashed the hashtag, #StepsToSurviveAHorrorMovie and lemme tell you, it went off. So did I. Then a few of mine were in the top tweets for a few moments (there were so many!) and it quickly became a country wide top trending topic. I’ve decided to share a few of mine.
Note: These are all original from the mind of me.
Here’s how it all went down.
Be. A. Badass a.k.a. BE. BRUCE CAMPBELL.#StepsToSuviveAHorrorMovie
Do not fear death.
My horror writing peeps seriously need to get in on this! and teach these kids some #stepstosurviveahorrormovie
DON’T do the deed outside. For cryin’ out loud-get a room…in the city.
Don’t think your kindness will win the killer over. Look what happened to Machete in the Halloween remake.
Get the virus. You’ll survive off of the flesh from people who don’t read the #StepsToSurviveAHorrorMovie
Be all, “Yo, my beef ain’t witchu man. I’m a minority! I don’t even like camping!”
Be in Twilight, NOT any. other. vamp. movie.
Pull up in a blue van that reads ‘Mystery Machine‘.
Tell the killer while smoking a cigarette, “They went that-a-way!”
Wear a) leather/hockey mask/bag over your head b) carry a large stabbing weapon c) act crazy. You’ll blend right in.
You have two ways to run. AWAY from the killer…or back in the house with him. Come on.
Have Undead by Hollywood Undead playing in the background.
Word. That’s it. Neat huh? Share your own steps to survive a horror movie!